Sometimes, balancing and juggling past situations makes life difficult. I know this from personal experience, having lived with negative past experiences for 23 years. Why would a living soul have to carry garbage for so long? I can answer that question with no problem. I dragged myself through hell and took showers to remove the smell. Deep down, my mind had an addiction to the misery of the past. It was almost as if suffering was the drug; my past was the dealer, and the way I would find the dealer was through my thoughts and quenching the thirst for pain. Until I picked up a pen and notebook, darkness consumed me. I had broken the chain and no longer struggled to verbally express my experiences, thoughts, and feelings. I had finally found mental freedom from writing down every untold story.